u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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