Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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