That's when you crack a 10am beer
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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