Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's rum buckets o'clock
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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