i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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