her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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