Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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