I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
