I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
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