She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
