What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
