Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I am one with the molecules
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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