I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
You pole danced in your parka.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
