She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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