I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
