You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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