Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
