haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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