I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
