i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize