so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
