Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
