all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
