She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
