oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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