I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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