this just has baby written all over it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
did i just pee glitter
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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