Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
