Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
