I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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