just come out here and I will go home with you...
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
