I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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