Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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