My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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