Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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