i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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