I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
