R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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