u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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