he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
