i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
