The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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