He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
