if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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