More tranny stories later!
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
