Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
