A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
