Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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