Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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