I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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