he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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