my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
