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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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