My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i came on her dog
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
