i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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