In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
