you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
