This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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