You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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