I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Randomize
