My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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