I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
