sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
