i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
